Ramble Like Vince Vaughn

So I hear Vince Vaughn has several mean rambles in 'Wedding Crashers'. Drew recently played a drinking game that involved drinking whenever he rambled (among other things), and got rather drunk. I wish I was there, because it sounded like a fun time. However twas not to be, as I was in Christchurch. Earthquake City, and all that.
Poor bastards. The earthquakes that happened whilst I was up there freaked me out, but those ol' cantabs didn't even notice them. Amazing.

Anway

As usual I was having trouble coming up with a 'subject' so I thought I'd jut write and see where the blog took me. A 'ramble', if you will. There are a few things I would like to tell you about, and I'm going to, and you can't stop me.

Brass Monkey Rally '11 was a pretty sweet shindig. Apart from a slight mishap where my brother crashed his bike on the way up (hes ok though), it went off without a hitch. Well, there were a few hitches. We screwed up a few of the covers we hadn't learnt properly, but we were better than some bands I've seen. Not all bands, but some.
Twas a mild night as well, which definitely helped as usually theres snow/frost on the ground at the Rally so we were very lucky as it barely went past 0 degrees the whole night. Tropical.
And it was the very first gig I've ever played where I didn't put more makeup on. Amazing. Well, I figured since the general crowd looked a little like this:

I didn't really need to get dolled up in my usual fashion to fit in.
When we were setting up, we were getting a few odd look from the crowd standing around the massive bonfire. As Ian (sound-man-extraordinaire), put it,we were made up of a short guy, a cripple, a girl, and 'I don't even know whats going on with you'-guy. So of course the ol' bikers would be feeling a little bit of trepidation when I lugged my kick drum onto the stage (back-of-truck).

Nevertheless, we played an intense 5 and a half hours (with substantial breaks for Drew to rest his leg), to a very appreciative crowd. Money was thrown at us to play longer and longer, and I couldn't walk on my kick-drum foot for about a week afterwards.
Now that's a good gig.
So this wasn't really much of a ramble, but I promise I'll do better next time.
Here some pics of Brass Monkey Rally 2011 :)

Mean Massive Bonfire, this pic doesn't really do it justice as those flames were the size of a two storey house

Stage + Random guy

Josh and Fender

Peter the Bass-Man

Drew + Drunken Crowd (this may have been during Stairway To Heaven)

Crowd

Stairway

Fuck Fuckidee Fuck: An Analysis

Just doing a little experiment to see if I get more views on this blog by having 'fuck' in the title. Sorry Mum, but I have to do it. I have to say it. Parents shield your eyes!

Swear words fucking rule. 

Sometimes you just have to drop an F Bomb or even the dreaded C word. Why, I myself uttered both of those colourful beauties today, and it was all very much worth it.
As I was at work, I said these two under my breath, but I was still swearing nonetheless. I felt like a cool kid. The 'F Bomb' can be used in almost every situation, as every type of word (adjective, noun etc) as seen in this video

Even the C Word has it's uses. It's especially cool when a feminist reclaims the word for her own, much like African Americans have reclaimed the 'N Word'. I use the C word when I am most pissed at the world, and it makes me feel better. Or when I stub my little toe. That shit hurts.

Sometimes you have to say the C Word

Now I'm not a language expert. I do not claim to know the origins of all these amazing words that colour our everyday speech. But I have to say that swearing makes life interesting. You can even swear without actually swearing. Because a swear word is just an exclamation. Like 'Golly Gosh!' or 'Cripes!'. I knew a girl once who said 'Flip!' instead of fuck. It was pretty cute. So why in fact is 'Flip' better than 'Fuck'. Who even decided which one was to be the swear word? I couldn't find the answer to this on Wikipedia, so I'm stumped. The probable reason is that the most common definition of 'fuck' is to have sexual intercourse.
And the definition of 'flip' is:

flip

adjective /flip/  Glib; flippant - he couldn't get away with flip, funny conversation exclamation /flip/  Used to express mild annoyance <<< verb /flip/  flipped, past participle; flipped, past tense; flipping, present participle; flips, 3rd person singular present Turn over or cause to turn over with a sudden sharp movement - the yacht was flipped by a huge wave - the plane flipped over and then exploded Move, push, or throw (something) with a sudden sharp movement - she flipped off her dark glasses - she flipped a few coins on to the bar Turn (an electrical appliance or switch) on or off - he flipped a switch and the front door opened Toss (a coin) to decide an issue - given those odds, one may as well flip a coin - you want to flip for it? Buy and sell (something, esp. real estate or shares) quickly to make a profit - within one week of starting I flipped a property for a quick $3,000 profit Access the nonpublic parts of (a website) - if you want to learn who the main IT contact at a company is, just flip their Web site Suddenly become deranged or very angry - he had clearly flipped under the pressure Suddenly become very enthusiastic - I walked into a store, saw it on the wall, and just flipped noun /flip/  flips, plural A sudden sharp movement - the fish made little leaps and flips A quick look or search through a volume or a collection of papers - a quick flip through my cookbooks A quick tour or pleasure trip - I did a flip round the post-show party < This one is my favourite, I'm going to bring that shit into vogue.

Which isn't very profane at all, to be honest.It's use as an exclamation 'to express mild annoyance' doesn't really stand up to the word fuck. So basically, very prudish people who are adverse to discussing the human need to copulate decided to make 'fuck' a profane word and censor it to death.

But some people manage to slip by the radar. Like French Connection (fcuk), who used the profanity to successfully market themselves (even though they say it's the initials for French Connection United Kingdom).

Also (although this one isn't as great) Britney Spears 'If You Seek Amy'. This is almost clever, but not exactly.
If the lyrics made sense with the clever way the title sounds like 'F.U.C.K me', this song would be brilliant. But the line before says 'All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to', which is just plain obvious what Britney really means.

One day I'm going to come up with something better than that, and I will post a blog as soon as I do.

Just For You.
xxx

Teaser: Drew and Crowd at Brass Monkey Rally 2011. Stay Tuned.

The Battle Has Ended

So we went, we played, we almost conquered. Well, if we're pretending it was a real battle we would be lying on the ground groaning about the make-believe wounds in our side and dying a dramatic death. But we had fun along the way, and that's what's important.
Well, that's what my Mum would say.

She's a pretty cool Mum

In case you didn't get the reference, Honeybone played at OUSA's Battle Of The Bands Finals on Saturday night. We didn't get placed, which isn't suprising. Honeybone has never been a winner of such competitions. This was the first year we made it into the finals, so we were grateful just for that.

And the finals were an AWESOME night.
We played our new song, which doesn't have a name, so at the moment we're calling it 'progified eipic wonderness'. Well that's what I just called it then. But maybe that'll catch on. Anyway, that song goes for 9-11 minutes, depending on how wanky and long we want our guitar solos to be. It's such a beautiful song though, and has some pretty wicked time signatures in it, I feel like I finally deserve to call myself an Honours music student.

Everyone seemed to enjoy our 15 minute slot, and I got some pretty sweet compliments afterward too. Josh even found some groupies who pashed his guitar.

Our fans do this all the time

Our mates Kitten Suprise, Not For You and Black Sky Hustler all played amazingly. Black Sky Hustler earned a well deserved third placing, with Ignite The Helix coming in 2nd, which was suprising as I was sure they'd take out the 1st place.Who got first I hear you ask? Affco, a thrown together jam band made up of current and ex employees of the Rock Shop. They were pretty good, but probably didn't need to win any of the prizes, so I was a little confused. But sometimes things happen that make you go WTF. And thats ok.

Because sometimes life hands you lemons. And all you can say is 'Fuck the lemons and Bail'.

LETS ALL GET NAKED!!!

Now that I have your attention...

This blog is going to be about many things you probably didn't know about me. And a little bit about Honeybone. But mostly me, because I like to talk about myself. Most girls do, apparantly.

The title of this blog wasn't entirely random. I have joined a burlesque troupe. Well when I say joined, I joined one then some bitchiness happened, then the group split, then we formed another one from the ashes. We are Foxy Rockettes Burlesque.

Aren't we a sight! Theres seven of us though, not 6.

You may be thinking to yourself... Rachel? Burlesque? Being Girly? YES people, although I am a girl who plays drums, I also like to be girly and dance in a sexy manner. It's quite fun, and the feathers from my Happy Coin boa decorate the floor of my flat so beautifully. I even have a burlesquey name. 'Raq-hell Rouge'. Pretty cool I'd say.
We have a show on Friday, ya'll should totally come it's gonna be totally amazing. That's TOTES AMAZE for all you young hipsters.

I'm even doing a solo routine. I KNOW! Talk about throwing myself in the deep end. I didn't know the first thing about burlesque when I started this but I bought a couple of books and watched some vids and the other girls have been totally awesome. I'm going to dance to 'The Spy' by the Doors. I don't particularly like the Doors very much (I read a biography about Jim Morrison and couldn't even finish it because he was such an asshole), but the song is good. It's a cool song, look it up.

Apart from myself, we've got Billy Rocka, Feather Tornado, Senorita Pussa, Sailor Vie (hope I spelt that right), and Blossom. Theres another girl but I don't know her burlesque name. Her real name is Natalie, and she is cool. She has sparkly shoes and I want to steal them.
The Show also includes acoustic duo 'Girl On Girl Action' and MC Hannah Port. Entry is $5, and it's at Theatre As Is next to Chipmunks at 7.30pm on Friday 27th May.

BRING IT ON

This is the facial expression I imagine whilst typing the above

I am somewhat of a performance whore this week. I don't usually tell people this, but I'm in another band.

WHAAAAT!?

It's ok though, it's not my band, and I don't often play drums for it. Mostly I sing (haha). It is a corporate covers band that do show-acts. What are show-acts I hear you ask? Basically, we dress up as famous bands/singers and imitate them for money. Talk about musical prostitution. It's become somewhat of a guilty pleasure of mine, as I do Blondie, and it's fun to stagger about on stage acting drunk (sometimes the acting isn't even needed). I'm also Freida from ABBA, and that's fun too, because a Swedish accent always makes me giggle.

So this Wednesday we have the annual Mayoral Concert at the Dunedin Town Hall. Don't come if you're under 60. I get to play drums for this one because our lucky drummer had to work. Dick. Playing drums is much more work than singing. You actually have to set stuff up and carry stuff.... I'm just too lazy for that sort of thing. The gig goes from 1.30-3pm and the average age of the audience is usually around 70, so we just do oldish stuff, like 'Pack Up Your Troubles'. Janine (other singer chick who is miles ahead of me in terms of talent) and I are dressing up as 2/3s of the Andrew Sisters and singing Bugle Boy. Which is awesome cause that song rocks.

AAAANNNDD THEEEEN

And then you can give us our food, because we're ready to eat!

On Saturday Honeybone is in the OUSA Battle Of The Bands finals. I told you I was a performance whore. It's gonna be really awesome, because both Kitten Surprise and Not For You! Got into the finals as well! So come along to that if you want to support some sweet Dunedin Sounds, plus it's only a dollar to get in. Well technically it's gold coin entry, but who pays $2 when $1 will suffice? Honestly, they must be kidding themselves if they think someone belonging to the 'poor student' group would give up a dollar like that. Ok, we're getting off topic. Where was I?

Oh yes.

Battle of the Bands finals Saturday 28th May!!

Burlesque Show 27th May!

That girl in the poster is pretty hot, her name is Bettie.
Kels (my twin sister) designed this. She can design anything!

Come to both of these. Don't come to Mayoral concert unless you want to hear Dave Cull singing 'Pack Up Your Troubles'. Which could be interesting! Anyway thats $5. But I'm giving you a choice with that one. The first two are COMPULSORY.

Unless you have a note from your mother.

Gigs and a bit of Bitching

Hello all you beloved readers, I love you. You guys rock my world.

I hope that gave you enough warm fuzzies for the day. It's nice to feel loved.

Anyway enough with all the carry-on. This blog is just going to be me raving about the last two gigs we had and how awesome they were. Because they were AWESOME.

This guy knows

On Thursday we played a gig at Refuel with Flower, Black Sky Hustler and Not For You!. Flower were pretty cool, they played 2 instrumentals and changed up their genres, it was a good start to the night. Then Black Sky Hustler came on and BLEW MY MIND! They are a band that play punky style music, and all three members sing in unison. It was so simple, but so awesome. I couldn't believe no one else in Dunedin had thought of singing like that. Who needs harmonies :)

Not For You! are a punky/ska sort of band that remind me of The Offspring. They are wicked cool guys and I had heaps of fun dancing to their set. They had heaps of mates too, which was handy cause we don't really have that many. It was so refreshing to see a band that wasn't hung up on fitting into any kind of 'scene' or being 'unique', because bands like that are a dime a dozen in good ol' Dunedin. Which is quite ironic considering by trying to be unique, they end up sounding exactly like everyone else.

Yes, dears you are all unique.

Plus, it's also nice not to be hated on. Honeybone is almost the Nickleback of Dunedin in terms of haters. Thats our claim to fame. Not For You! actually like us. AND their bassist reads this blog. HEY SAM!

Our last gig was the 'Fiddy Club' gig at XII Below on Saturday night. There was an all-ages show in the afternoon but by the time we played pretty much everyone had left so we took that as a chance to have a wee jam. Good times had by all.

The gig started late, because of graduation the restaurant above XII Below was packed right up till about 10pm, which is when the first band, Rusty Pilot, played. They were a great mix of genres, and had some lovely harmonies going on, which are always good (I do realise I contradicted myself... but I'm allowed to. SO THERE).

Ash and the Matadors were up next and they were wicked. I loved that band the first time I saw them at a Refuel open mic night, and I love them now. Their songs are melodic yet rocky, with just the right amount of country/folk influence to keep me interested. Check them out when you get a chance, you won't regret it.

Matt Langley followed Ash, and Oleh followed Matt. Matt is a country singer song-writer who won the APRA song-writing award at Gore's Gold Guitar Awards last year, so he's pretty talented, check him out. He sang a beautiful rendition of 'Wagon Wheel' with the MC, which I loved as I am a hillbilly from Alexandra thus the words to that song are drummed into us from when we were sitting in the back of our Pa's wagon.

Oleh is a one band band, complete with loop pedal. He played dub infused goodness, and played everything right down to beatboxing. It was pretty cool, and we weren't keen to follow him. But we did, because what else were we going to do?

So we went on to a significantly smaller crowd than at the start of the night, but because the place was packed at the start of the night, the crowd was till pretty decent. Then some of our mates came form a party they were at, and made us look real cool by singing to 'I'll Be Your Devil'. Nic Dwyer even sang into the microphone. He rocks. So does his band Kitten Suprise. Check them out, I love them.

Aren't they ultra sexy!!

So that's about all I wanted to rave about. I could bitch about some stuff, but I don't know if I'm in a bitchy mood. I'll give it a shot.
*deep breath*

Simon Sweetman, you suck, your band is shit (so I've heard) so you don't really have the right to go around bashing talented, successful musicians such as Dave Grohl.

This is part of his blog about the Foos.

Foo Fighters albums exist to be played on The Rock. Foo Fighters albums exist to be played by people who have no idea what good, strong rock music is. Foo Fighters albums exist because Dave Grohl is laughing at how they are lapped up. Foo Fighters albums exist because Grohl's  jump-behind-the-kit-and-jam-with-anyone mentality has reached its logical conclusion.

Dave Grohl is a good drummer - he's better serving a song behind the kit than he is when placed anywhere else on stage. But Dave Grohl is not at all one of the great drummers. He is above adequate; highly skilled even. He is no innovator. He might deserve two thumbs up for walking away from one of the most iconic and important bands of the last 25 years - and the last rock band that really mattered. But then, it might have been better if he'd just let his playing in Nirvana be his legacy. 

1. Foo Fighters are one of my favourite bands, and I am completing an Honours Music Degree. So by saying that The Foo Fighters only exist to be played by people who don't know music, you've insulted a good amount of people who read your blog. Including me. Nice one.

2. Who the great drummers, oh wise one? Some names would be nice. Maybe because you don't know of any? Just because Dave Grohl doesn't play crazy fills every two bars doesn't mean he isn't good. He has feel. That's what a good drummer is, one who has feel. The days of drummers like Keith Moon who continuously play drum fills are over, Dave Grohl plays exactly what the song needs every time. 

3. Grohl didn't 'walk away' from Nirvana, the main member in terms of songwriting, image and sound died. If Nirvana carried on, they would have become more hated than Nickleback. 

In the world of most careers, those who cannot do, teach. In the world of the performing arts, those who cannot do, review. 

Thank you and Goodnight.

BOOM!

I couldn't decide what to write this blog about, so it's gonna be a little bit about everything thats been going on of late. I like the title, it's like I'm shouting.

Honeybone had a wee filming experience last week. We played two of our songs live at Refuel whilst film students from Aoraki Polytech filmed it. It was a bit random playing in Refuel in the afternoon but we still had fun. I got to show off my AMAZING interview skills and wear a risque corset and Drew got to show off his brand new fluro green and pink leg cast. Its like he shops at Supre. The girls will love it. The footage that was filmed of us and other bands will be filmed on a Sky TV channel sometime in June. Don't ask me the name of the channel or the date, as I either was not told or forgot. My bad.

In other news..

On Friday, Honeybone entered the first heat of OUSA's battle of the bands. We came second. Another band came first. And another band got the wildcard. Basically, the bands that came first and second get into the finals. We were surprised, as Honeybone has entered into this competition since 2009 (BOTB was the very first gig we ever had), and never made it anyway, so we weren't expecting to get anywhere this year. We just entered for fun, and to get some exposure, you know free gig and all that. But look at that, we're in the finals. Boom.

The whole concept of BOTB or other such band competitions has never sat well with me. Music, for me, is about playing what you love, and sharing that love with others (yes - a rather hippie concept I know). And yet people seem to love turning bands against each other by making it into a 'whos better than who' contest. A little silly really. Also some bands love to be competitive, and hate on other bands. Honeybone has never been a well-loved band in Dunedin among the uni-music crowd, we're just not hipster enough for all those in tight coloured jeans. We've had a bit of bashing after Friday's performance, and I'm in no position as to tell you, beloved reader, why. I don't think we did anything except play the music we love to play. Sorry to offend you all, Dunedin music scene-people, but we've got better things to do than bitch and whine about other bands who are completely different to our style and have nothing to do with us whatsoever.

'Like, Honeybone are sooo derivative'

Like play gigs. Thursday 12th May at Refuel with Not For You, and Saturday 14th May at XII Below as part of the Fiddy Club gigs.

Oh and by the way, it's Drew's 21st Birthday on Friday 13th so if you see him, give him a big sloppy Honeybone style kiss. 

Ciao!

Honeybone Sells Out.

Hi beloved readers

The concept of selling out is quite the tricky one. Does one:

a) Take the money and admit to oneself they were never quite the creative genius their mother told them they were
b) Act horrified someone would even suggest one would defile their 'art' for the sake of something so material as money
c) Give ones 'art' away for free as the ultimate protest against capitalism and the materialistic manner of the western world, and thus move back to ones parent's home because of lack of actual money, becoming what's known as a 'boomerang kid'.

'I'm still allowed out on school nights right?'

Now, I am not sure what I would do, as the concept of 'selling out' has been well documented in the music industry over the past 60 years. When Bob Dylan went electric, many of his fans protested in anger, as it was his  rustic acoustic strummings and mad poetry that defined his folk legend status. A slightly different example of selling out could be that of the case of Metallica vs. Napster, wen drummer Lars Ulrich got his knickers in a twist because he found out millions of people were downloading his beloved music for free. Which I could understand if he weren't a multi-millionaire.

I need a new industrial sized pool cleaner so YOU'RE PAYING

 BUT 'selling out' can also make one rich (which would be nice), and popular across many different groups of people, instead of having one devoted group of fans (or none at all).

Now I bet you're wondering why the title of this blog is 'Honeybone Sells Out'. Well, no we didn't get offered a major label record deal, nor did we sell one of our songs to an advertising company. We're doing the lesser of two evils... learning a bunch of covers. I don't think this is selling out at all, but I know some people who look down on bands who just play covers. As if they aren't as competent musicians because they don't write their own music. Sure, covers bands get paid a lot more than originals bands, maybe thats why all the dedicated originals kids are so judgemental. But to be honest, I would rather listen to a great covers band than a complete shit originals band.

These guys do both

Anyway, Honeybone got asked to play the Brass Monkey motorcycle rally in Oterehua, Central Otago. I was pretty stoked about it, as my Dad and brother are mad about bikes and go every year. We've played covers gigs before, weddings and such, but this is a different kind of gig. This is the type of gig where the audience will be mostly older male bikers, so we probably won't be playing 'Brown Eyed Girl'. We get to pull out the Sabbath and Zeppelin and it's awesome. We started learning the first 20 or so songs on our list last week, and I have to say, it's definitely going to keep our chops up. Some of these songs aren't the easiest to play, and it's great because I've been getting lazy. Also, the gig pays very well. We use covers gigs to pay for our costs such as touring and recording, so no one is personally out of pocket. The money from this gig is probably going towards airfares to the North Island once we get our asses into gear and organise a tour. More on that later.

Also we've got a gig this weekend with the Scurvy Dogs, so come along if you're in town, its at the Crown and features Drew and his orange cast.

Party On.